Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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