I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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