THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
