this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
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All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
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I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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