Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
