I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
