C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
