Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
