He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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