I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
