I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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