he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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