You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
