I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize