I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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