So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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