Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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