can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
