You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
