Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
