Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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