Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
