My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
