I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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