I showed him my bush... on skype.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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