I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
