Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
