I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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