Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
