Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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