You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
