That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
