He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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