And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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