Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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