just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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