Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
