i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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