I want to stick my p in your. b.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
