who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
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