Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Randomize
