he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
