we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
