Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
