tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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