Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
