first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
