we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
