Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
