Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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