you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I am midnight drunk by noon
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
