Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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