Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize