you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
