I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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