Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
